-
“I’ve Never Done That Before” and Other Lies Women Tell the People We Love
Honesty is supposed to be the best policy. Yet when it comes to our sex lives, many women have a hard time telling our partners the truth about our sexual histories. Whether we’re afraid we’ll be rejected for having too many sex partners or mocked for having too few, many of us would rather lie than fail to live up to our partners’ expectations — even when those expectations are impossible to meet. This talk takes a look at how a mix of purity culture and porn has created an unrealistic idea of what a “normal” woman’s sexual history looks like.
-
Why Tech Needs to Be Less Afraid of Sex
A few decades ago, the tech and sex communities were deeply intertwined. CES had its very own section devoted to the adult industry, and people who were in the business of selling sex were often assumed to be leaders in technological innovation. But these days, that’s far from the case. Tech giants like Apple and Facebook treat sex-related topics with disdain, censoring the slightest hint of nipple and banning sex-related content, and even Tumblr — which built its audience through a willingness to celebrate sex — has declared adult content to be totally taboo. Much of this disdain for sex is justified as a way to make our technology and online lives safer and more family friendly, but in the process, tech companies are engaging in censorship that puts our health, happiness, and emotional wellbeing at risk. In this talk, Lux will discuss why tech companies need to start saying yes to sex, and how a little less censorship could help create a society that’s a lot smarter and more thoughtful when it comes to our sexual and reproductive health.
-
Faking It: A Defense of the Inauthentic Orgasm
Fake orgasms get a bad rap. If you believe what you read in lady mags, women who fake it are sad and sexually deprived, more concerned with their partner’s ego than their own sexual pleasure. But what if we have it all wrong? What if faking it isn’t a passive cry for help, but a way of claiming power? This talk discusses the surprising reasons women (and some men!) fake orgasm, taking a look at how our obsession with orgasms might actually be making sex worse.
Exploring the connections of Sex, Lies, and Technology.
She writes a weekly column on sex and technology for Medium’s OneZero, and helped craft Fusion’s Peabody-nominated Sex.Right.Now. in her role as Development Producer. Her first book, Faking It: The Lies Women Tell About Sex — And the Truths They Reveal, examines our fascination with feminine deceit.
Our speakers get attention.
-
The Real Naked Selfies Are ComingLux Alptraum argues that the surfacing of a nude photo says nothing about a young woman’s talent or skills and everything about those attempting shame her through an extreme violation…
-
The problem with how men perceive rapeLux Alptraum writes about “not rape” violations, and sexual microaggressions.
-
The return of Louie CK’s debateListen to Lux Alptraum discuss Louis CK on the Comedy Cellar’s Live From America podcast.
Lux was a terrific participant at the 2019 Conference on World Affairs. Lux appeared on seven panels in 2019, speaking eloquently on topics ranging from "Why Do We Lie" to "Is Social Media the New Frontier for Women's Rights?" I heard many unsolicited comments appreciating both the inspiring comments that she made and her thoughtful responses to questions. As the Chair, I was personally grateful to her one morning when, due to weather issues, her panel was missing speakers & danger of cancellation. Instead of letting it die, Lux rounded up some of the other speakers that she had met and created an exceptional panel. Lux is the greatest!
Lux’s workshop was a great 101 for reporters across beats on how to cover sex and sex harassment responsibly. She drew clear connections between the sex industry and our newsroom’s areas of focus, made a persuasive case for more and better sex coverage, outlined common reporting pitfalls that can harm sources and undermine the credibility of the journalist and newsroom, and fielded specific questions that have come up in our reporting. Her workshop addressed gaps in most journalism curricula and gave our newsroom basic best practices for covering complex and uncomfortable topics — even when the best advice is to seek an authoritative subject-matter expert to do the story.
